God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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