I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
