Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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