I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is my gift to your gina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
