I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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