May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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