I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize