She said her name was "party"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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