He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
