obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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