there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize