Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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