i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
