Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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