I'm jealous of your bromance
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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