dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
