It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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