And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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