Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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