She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
