Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
