Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
