She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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