I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
