Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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