The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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