I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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