dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
