she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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