I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
