gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
