3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
