Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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