Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize