Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
