Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
