can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
