Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
