Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm passing your future prison.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
