I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize