Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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