He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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