She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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