I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
