Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Rumble strips road head = magical
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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