The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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