dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
