She is in my trunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
