I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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