im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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