I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
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