I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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