I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
