Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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