I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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