this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
