Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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