And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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