I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
