I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
