You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
