my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
