If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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