He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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