Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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