It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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