why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
