OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
