he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Edward fifth and chaser hands
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize