her vagina looked like bernie madoff
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
